Updated: Mar 13
Life has come a long way. I am sitting at the office and pondering over my gone by years. I suddenly got a strong urge to start writing. I don’t know from where – maybe I have something to offer to the world:) through my writings but it seems very less probable at this point in time. But surely sometime in future. Let me give a background of my life. I was born in the North-East part of India in a small but beautiful hill station called Shillong.
I spent my childhood in Guwahati studying in a Kendriya Vidyalaya and then graduated from NIT Silchar. I worked in India for around 7 years before moving to the UK with an aim of seeing more of the world. I have always wanted to give something to the world like the Teslas and the Einsteins ( I am not comparing myself with these giants :D, just the intention part of it :P), not with the idea of getting fame and wealth,but with the belief that it will give me a big satisfaction that I have done my part in making the world a better place. I want to spread education especially in my country India where there is so much fight over available resources and most people spend or rather waste the prime of their life fighting to secure those resources. I want to help people become better human beings. I know I am not ready yet. I am still exploring myself – traveling, gathering knowledge, reading books.
There has always been a strong urge in me to understand the world as it is and how it works. I am always intrigued by the question of why do people always follow a pattern in life, especially in India where from childhood you are presented with a list of steps to follow to have a successful life – study, earn, get married, have kids, and die. This pattern never made sense to me from a broader perspective – yes, it can be a part but not the ultimate goal of a man’s life. There must be some purpose for which we have been born and GOD has made us rational and thinking creatures to realize something, otherwise, it does not make sense why other species are not so advanced and rational as the humans. Travel till now has given me a lot of insight, especially visiting the Himalayas and the monasteries of Leh and Ladakh where I got to learn a lot of Buddhism. I have also become very much interested in the Vedantic philosophy native to my religion which aims to provide a sense of purpose to human life and unification of the working of the entire universe something which science (Physics especially) aims at achieving as its ultimate goal and after which it is complete. But why are we not achieving this unification through science yet? Is there something which cannot be revealed ever? These questions come to my mind frequently and I try to find answers to these questions through various means.
I have my strongest belief in science but after going through the current state of quantum mechanics and general relativity I think physics is stuck with the tangible aspect of things. It has not incorporated the intangible aspects like consciousness, love, etc yet into its equations without which I think it can never be complete. Till now philosophically and rationality wise Vedanta has only made sense to me in terms of a unified view and science is still struggling to deal with it. I hope sometime in the near future we will be able to put everything into a single equation or some form that explains everything. What should be my role as a student who wants to provide such a thing if ever possible to the world? I know it sounds pretty comical. I am an IT professional working in the UK and the things I currently do is nowhere related to these areas, so is my intellectual ability. But whenever I get a chance, I try to understand Vedanta deeply and also quantum mechanics. It is my belief that Vedanta has the answer but it has not been able to put it in a form that can be verified mathematically and experimented with or let it predict events. It can only be realised and experienced. That’s the difficult part. People like Swami Vivekananda have come and taught the world of these spiritual laws like Newton did for gravitation laws. I also strongly believe that science is not the ultimate answer at its current state of development. It cannot define an event as good or bad. It comes from something within which cannot be put mathematically i.e from consciousness. The same is with love. I have been in love :).It’s very difficult to understand how the mind clings to it and it becomes very difficult to stay without seeing the other person. So, is a mother’s unconditional and pure love for her child. Science cannot put these things into equations. If science was the ultimate answer, we would have been happy with the current state of the materialistic and technological development and we would have felt contended, but this is not the case. So, I am still seeking the answers :).
I was blessed to have an awesome childhood – literally, I feel now I was in heaven for the first 17 years of my life.
Thanks to my parents especially my mother. She is not in this world anymore but I hope her soul rest in peace and it will be my duty to make my mark in the world so that the world knows her too. Everything seems less to me to repay her debt. It’s pretty difficult to understand how a person can sacrifice 25-30 years of her life just to take care of the needs of her husband and children. That’s why I think Indian mothers and their love is really special. They don’t know the word selfishness. She was the reason why I always fared well academically at school and got into a good engineering college. The four years I spent there were the best years in my life till now but I did not do a great job there academically though I have made some everlasting friendships.
I selected a job at a good MNC afterward and did not go with a PSU job as I wanted to see and learn more of the world and not have a settled life so early. I feel sometimes there is a greater purpose in my life. I need to do something really special to make my mark (building a great institute or some entity useful to the masses?). I haven’t found that thing yet exactly. I hope God reveals that to me soon and I am on the right track to discovering that.